Performing Monkeys

When I was a small child
I loved to see the men
With their juke boxes
And their performing monkeys
They reminded me of fuzzy teddy bears
With big glassy brown eyes

Now, things have changed
Those monkeys do not have fairy tale lives anymore
And I sympathize with them
Like them I now have an owner
Who has a juke box filled
With white powder

I was passed around like a toy
Damaged like one, too
He lured me with the promise of money
The promise of paradise
That turning tricks was only temporary

All my friends have forgotten me
Surrounded by warmth and family
Now on my street corner I stand
Lonely and cold
I used to think $100 an hour was great
Now I see I was wrong

Reflecting on my past
It plays like a movie
Happiness, seduction, arguments
Those memories chip away at my soul
Reminding me of how greedy I was
To agree just because of the money

I feel like I let those monkeys down
When I see them they look disappointed
I want to scream and shout and tell them they're wrong
That its all okay
But they know I am lying,
I know I am lying
They tell me to go home
I wish I could